THE PODCAST
Episode 6 - Sibling Kinship Care – Holding Families Together
Care-Experienced People Mini-Series
About the Series
The Care-Experienced People Mini-Series is part of Trauma-Informed Conversations - a podcast created by Trauma-Informed Consultancy Services (TICS) to explore what it really means to build systems and relationships grounded in care, connection, and humanity.
Hosted by Carrie Wilson, this special series invites care-experienced people, researchers, and practitioners from around the world to lead open, relational conversations about trauma, healing, and change - asking what it looks like when we do it together.
Each episode brings lived experience and professional insight into dialogue, offering space for reflection, courage, and system learning.
Series Theme
Exploring trauma and healing both within the care system and the spaces that surround it - led by care-experienced voices, grounded in reflection, connection, and change.
Episode Description
Kinship care is often described as an “alternative” to foster care. But for many families, it begins as an act of love and survival, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends stepping in when systems can’t or won’t.
In this episode of Trauma Informed Conversations, Care-Experienced People mini-series, Carrie Wilson is joined by Dr Lorna Stabler, researcher at CASCADE, Cardiff University, and sibling kinship carer, for an honest, nuanced conversation about what it really means to become a parent to your own brother or sister.
Together, they explore how sibling kinship care sits at the intersection of multiple misunderstandings: sibling kinship care is rarely recognised, care experience that isn’t understood, sibling relationships that don’t fit the “normal” script. They talk about the weight of stepping up while still traumatised yourself, the financial and emotional costs that go unseen, and the ways current systems trap carers in all-or-nothing roles.
- Beyond the “hero grandparent” narrative
- Parenting without having been parented
- Layered barriers and invisibility
- Guilt, sacrifice and “doing it right”
- Trauma-informed research and support
- Financial fear and power
- All-or-nothing systems
- Language that dehumanises
- Recognition of kinship care and sibling bonds
Dr Lorna Stabler is a researcher at the CASCADE Research Centre at Cardiff University, focusing on care experience, kinship care and family support. She grew up in and out of foster care and kinship care and later became a kinship foster carer for her younger brother. That lived experience runs through her work, including her PhD on sibling kinship care, which asks not whether kinship care is “good or bad” but how it really feels to live it.
Key Quotes
“There’s no guide to being a parent, and there’s even less of a guide to being a kinship carer, especially a sibling kinship carer.” – Lorna
“It’s like they’ve baked the most complicated cake possible, with the messiest ingredients, and said, ‘Here, figure this out with the least amount of support.’” – Lorna
“Kinship care isn’t understood. Being care-experienced isn’t understood. Sibling relationships in care aren’t understood.” – Lorna
“The system currently says: ‘If you can’t do 100 percent of the care, you can’t do any of it.’” – Lorna
“No one says, ‘I’m going to have contact with my dad later.’ … It’s absurd when you apply it to real families, and yet that’s the vocabulary we’re expected to live inside.” – Lorna
“It truly is a beautiful, painful, powerful story of love. And it shouldn’t be lived in isolation.” – Carrie
Reflection prompts for listeners
- What assumptions do I hold about kinship care, and where do they come from?
- How might my service or setting be expecting kinship carers to “do 100% or nothing”?
- Where could curiosity replace compliance in how we assess and support kinship carers?
- How do we recognise both the love and the cost in kinship care stories, without forcing them into “all good” or “all bad” narratives?
- What would it look like to treat sibling carers as experts in connection, rather than exceptions to the rule?
Please listen in a way that feels safe for you.
This conversation sits at the heart of the work we do at Trauma Informed Consultancy Services (TICS) – supporting organisations, teams, and communities to move from trauma-aware to trauma-responsive practice.
If this episode has sparked ideas or questions for you, you might be especially interested in:
- Trauma-Informed Research with Care-Experienced People – for researchers, practitioners and organisations who want to design research and consultation that is ethical, collaborative, and grounded in care.
- Trauma-Informed Record Keeping exploring how the words we use (in records, reports, media, and everyday practice) can either retraumatise or support healing.
- Bespoke consultancy and facilitation – supporting teams to embed trauma-informed principles into strategy, participation, and lived-experience involvement.
You can find out more about our upcoming training and bespoke support at ticservicesltd.com, or get in touch with us directly to explore a tailored package lyndsay@ticservicesltd.com
